Tuesday, June 26, 2018
Anxiety..
As bad as the title sounds this is actually what's been eating at me. I have developed anxiety over time and it scares me to death. I feel like this is adding on top of my depression. Why does it feel like everything is closing in on me? I feel restless and exhausted. I need an escape but my mind is constantly running. I have been feeling sick lately and I'm not sure what's really going on. Could it really be anxiety am I just crazy? School, work, and life in general is just too overwhelming for me. There's a guy I met recently and I can't even go on with him because I feel mentally unstable. I don't think I am ready for a relationship. I need to gather myself first. I feel out of place in my own home. I come home to a house full of my sisters' kids and all I hear is screaming. It's driving me nuts. I tried to go out with a new group of friends and we'll stay out until 5 a.m. but I still feel lost. I have been having breakdowns every now and then. When I get the chance to have a break whether its in between classes or at work, I'd run to the bathroom to breathe and calm myself down. Sometimes it makes me nauseous and dizzy, then there are times I'll heat up a bit and then have chills. I can't focus at all. On my days off I sleep for like half a day. What's going on with me? Why am I like this? I feel so fatigue. I just want to sleep until I feel better.
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