Do you believe in fate?

Hey everyone, it has been over 2 months since I have been on this blog. I just got back from Korea yesterday morning. I am quite jet lagged right now so what's better than writing out some thoughts and updates on my life recently. Near the end of August, I went to Vietnam and a about a few days after I went to Thailand on a tour with my cousin. My cousin and I were very lucky. We met new friends on the tour and they seemed to know their way around Thailand so we kept skipping out on the tour guides to hang out with them. Thailand's street food is no joke. Everything was super delicious and tasty! The only problem was I had stomach problems when I went to Asia, so I couldn't eat a lot of spicy food and my appetite went downhill from there. I tried to eat as much as my body would allow me to since I was on vacation. We had a blast! The guys took me to a male strip club and it was my first time ever. It was interesting but scary at the same time. I had a lot of fun though. I got hit on by a lot of the male strippers and it was so awkward. One guy kept winking and blowing kisses at me. We actually went to the same strip club two days in a row. We made friends with one of the guys that works there. He is also Vietnamese but he has been living in Thailand for 7 years. He took us to the pier where people fish for squids late at night to eat grilled squids, freshly caught. We ended up staying up the entire night. It was such a beautiful view to see the sunrise at the pier. I think the guy that took us there liked me because he kept trying to talk to me the whole time. Too bad, I didn't feel the same way. After coming back from Thailand we all kept in touch. Everyone wanted to take me out to dinner and karaoke before I left for Korea. This is when it all started..

I went to dinner with the guys from the Thailand tour and my cousin. They invited a few close friends to come out too but I didn't know the others. So we were having dinner and then a guy showed up out of nowhere and sat at our table. He was handsome and super muscular. I only knew that one of the guys invited a tomboy and a gay guy to the event but I didn't know about this guy. I was too shy to make eye contacts with him or even talk to him, so I started to talk to everyone else around him. Then we went to karaoke and they made me sing first. I am actually a karaoke person but when I am around new people I get nervous. So I started to sing in Vietnamese and in English, and everyone just stared at me. Every now and then I would look over to see his face but I still couldn't force myself to spark a conversation with him. We all sang and laughed and finally it was time to go home. Everyone asked about my Facebook and added me but him. So I thought to myself that maybe he wasn't interested in me or maybe he doesn't really care that much about me. When I went home, I coincidentally saw his Facebook through our mutual friends. I was going to add him but then I didn't think he would want to talk to me so I put my phone down instead. The second I put it down, I had a friend request from him. So I added him and messaged him. Then it all started from that point on. We started chatting and didn't realize that it was already 2AM. He told me he was tired that night and he wasn't planning on coming but he did and he was glad. He told me he felt the same way I did. He was also too shy to talk to me but he was constantly looking at me too. He told me when I started singing he couldn't move anymore because he was so stunned. He loved my singing and couldn't stop looking at me. After that night we started talking to each other more and more. We went to eat together and went to the botanical garden/zoo in Vietnam. My stomach problems got worse at this point because I used to be on a fixed diet but when I was in Vietnam my cousin woke up too late for breakfast, so I started having stomach pain from skipping meals. He noticed my stomach pains so he picked me up every morning to take me out for breakfast. He is such a gentleman and super chivalrous. He took care of me in details and I was extremely moved from it. When he learned that my stomach pain wasn't going away he rushed to buy me medicine. We spent most nights at the park just talking about life and getting to know each other. It felt really good and for the first time it felt so right to be able to talk to someone without caring about a single thing around us. Then it was finally my last day in Vietnam and I couldn't seem to let myself leave without getting to know more about him. I wanted to be with him longer. So I changed my flight to Korea that day and canceled my reservation on Airbnb. I knew I would regret it so much if I didn't give him or myself a chance to get to know one another. The extra week I stayed there seemed like a fairy tale because I was with him everyday. The more we got to know each other the more we started to develop feelings for each other. We started holding hands and eventually we kissed. We would go to the park at night and talk and laugh for hours. Sometimes we'll just cruise around the city like lost lovers who have nowhere to go. The important part is just being with each other. One night we went to the park with the others and they drifted off and left us alone. That night my stomach pain was really bad so he went to buy medicine and water for me. He made me take all of it and kept checking to see if I was ok. We talked and joked around for a bit and then he grabbed my hands and held it into his. He asked me how come I didn't wear any rings, then he took his ring and slipped it onto my finger. It's amazing how he knew which finger it would fit. He gave me his ring and told me to never lose it. We grew really close after that day. I know it seems a little fast since we didn't know each other for long but I believe our feelings were real and all there. I tried to stop myself from going too fast and so did he but we couldn't stop our hearts. We only did what felt right at that time. He always ask me questions about my life or about my family. He really took his time to get to know me. He took me around to temples and places he grew up familiar with and introduced me to his friends and his sister. We were like love birds flying everywhere. He told me before me he used to go to beer clubs and hang out with a couple of girls but he hasn't dated since high school or his freshmen year in college. He said he has never been so interested in a girl like me until he met me. I am special to him because he has never felt this way for a girl ever. All of his friends and some of mine were shocked that he would like someone like me because I am not the type to hang out at the beer club, I look cute and short not sexy with long legs like the girls he was used to being around, and I am very simple and down-to-earth. I guess that's what he likes about me. I always make him look at the brighter side of the story. He told me about his family problems and I listened to him and gave him advices that I have lived with because I went through the same problems. I know what it's like to be in the circle so I gave him advices like I was in the circle with him not as an outsider looking in to see who is right and who is wrong. Keeping calm and analyzing the situation is better than getting angry and saying harmful words to one another. After talking to me, his tension went away and he was relieved a bit. Some nights it rained so much we had to stop by and find a place to dodge the rain. It was both mine and his first time watching the rain fall and feeling as if time has stopped for a split second. I have never felt that way with anyone before. It felt so right being there with him and watching as the rain pours in front of us. It was the most romantic feeling I have ever felt from any guy I have ever dated. Everything with him felt so right and I didn't want to leave him at all. If only I could go back to that day. Eventually time was slipping out of our hands like sand. The day before I left he took me out for breakfast and we went to his house so that he could change. It was raining cats and dogs. We sat in his house alone with just the two of us. We listened to music and chatted. Then we started making out but nothing more than that. I think we were both in the heat of the moment but we respected each other a little too much to go any further. Plus, he is a virgin so he was well contained. HAHA. Just laying around on his couch and kissing every now and then felt like heaven to me already. I wouldn't ask for anything more than just his presence. The night before I left we sat on his scooter hugging and kissing each other while watching the rain fall. He woke up early the next morning to take me to the airport. I still remember the sad look in his eyes as I walked through the security check point. In my head, I kept telling myself to walk straight and down look back because if I look back I would cry my eyes out. On the plane going to Korea, I cried like a baby. I held his ring to my heart and the flash backs of our time together was on an auto replay mode.

When I go to Korea, I hoped on an airport limousine that took me to the station near my studio apartment. I had 2 large luggages with me and couldn't bring it to the apartment alone and also I had no wifi so I didn't even know where the apartment was. I was so lost and scared. I couldn't call for help so I started asking people to help me. Finally someone helped me and showed me where my apartment was. They took me there and helped me with my luggages. As soon as I got into the apartment, I called him. I told him how tired I was and how scared I was, and he comforted me. I didn't want to go back outside, because I had no wifi egg at that moment. So the next morning it took a while for me to go outside. My friends from Korea encouraged me to go and showed me how to find the subway station and take it to places. I cried the first two days in Korea. I was so used to being with people and with him all the time that being a completely alienated place scared the shit out of me. I also cried because I missed him so much and just being in Korea seemed far away from him already. I eventually found my way around Seoul and had a blast but I wished he could've gone with me. I think I would have felt more at ease. Then today I finally came back to the States after 5 weeks. I wish I would've known him sooner then we would have had more time with each other. I feel like it's fate that we met so randomly and suddenly had some sort of attraction towards each other the very first time we saw each other. We still feel that way towards each other now. It's a really rare feeling for the both of us because we have never wanted anything this much and have never encountered this "right" feeling for anyone before. I think we are both slowly falling for each other as the days go by. Talking to him makes me feel better every time I am sad and sometimes when we video call each other we don't say much. Just the presence and existence of each other is enough to keep our hearts calm. I just wish we didn't have this long distance between us. I really wish to be there with him by his side. Before him, I have never looked into anyone's eyes so deeply while talking to them. I feel like his eyes sucks me right in and I am helpless before him. Do you believe in soul mates? What if this is what we are to each other? I have never felt this feeling before but now I am starting to feel like we are each others soul mates. I have built a wall around my heart since D and wouldn't let anyone in for the longest time. For some reason with him I completely forgot about my wall and just let him open the door and walk right in. How did he break my wall down without me knowing it? Is it destiny or fate?..I feel like we were meant to be together. The only problem is we have to really work on this relationship since we are far apart. I have a long list of fears right about now but I can't help but to feel like we'll never part..