colorless life..

I've been super down lately. My appetite has gone down the drain. I lost weight and I can barely find a reason to smile anymore. Life has been tough on me. It seems like it keeps getting tougher and tougher. I feel like I only live to pay bills and I'm sure I'll probably be doing just that until I die. I need a break. So I booked a ticket to LA at the end of this month. I'm ready to get out of here. I need to. I can't stand feeling like this anymore. The stress load keeps increasing. I thought if I take a break from school and just work it'll get better but why does it feel worse? I can't do this anymore. I've been having thoughts that I've never in my life thought of resorting to.. What's going on? Nothing makes me happy anymore. I used to at least snack on things and find little things to be exciting and wonderful but now I don't anymore. I feel like in a world of color I'm living life in black and white. Where did all my colors go? Did it slip out of my hand when I least expected it?