so afraid...

Recently I've been talking to that guy I wrote about before. We started talking since New Year's til now. We see each other almost everyday. He works night shifts so sometimes I'll buy coffee and sit with him in my car on his lunch break. I guess I just wanted to be there with him. On his days off we'll hang out with his brother and his brother's girlfriend. We text each other everyday and talk to each other every night. For the past few days we've been sleeping on the phone. I remember one night he was really sleepy and I wasn't so I asked if he could stay on the line until I fall asleep. I told him he could go to sleep though. So he stayed on the line with me. After that day we talked at night again and this time I fell asleep without knowing it but he didn't hang up. He stayed on the line with me anyways. I guess it became a habit so now we just fall asleep on the phone. We've progressed to awkward waves of goodbyes to hugs now. Sometimes I feel like we don't want to say goodbye since we take so long doing it. Haha. Maybe I think too much. We'll text each other good morning everyday though. I'm not so sure what's going on though. In fact I'm a little afraid of what might happen next. I've been hurt so many times already and now I feel a little scared it might happen again. Everyone tells me he's a really really nice guy and I can see it also but what if it doesn't end well or what if he doesn't see me like that. I don't want to be hopelessly in love with the wrong guy anymore. I don't want to pour my heart out to end up with nothing left. I've lost bits and pieces of me along the journey and I'm still gathering myself now. I'm afraid. I don't know what to do or how to feel. First, I dated a guy for almost 6 years and when we broke up we agreed to be friends. After my Dad passed, he never texted, called, or contact me in anyway to say anything to me. Instead, he went on FB to block me. I was devastated. Almost 6 years of dating and you find out not only was he not the one but he was just an asshole who abused your love and wasted your time. I gave him all that I had until there was no more to give and that's when I broke up with him because I couldn't take it anymore. The next guy lead me on and dumped me like I was nothing. He got me falling head over heels for him on purpose and he didn't even want me. I felt so hurt and used. He told my godsister that one of the reasons why we can't be together is because he couldn't handle all the pressure about my Dad being ill and me being sad about it. One cold-hearted asshole. Then the next guy I met wasn't an asshole at all but I had to face the fact that he lived in another country and it'll never work out between us no matter how much I wanted it to. Also, he was still in love with his ex who recently got married. Why do I always end up with the wrong people? No wonder I'm so scared to meet someone new. I really want to believe that this person might be different but honestly I don't know if I'm capable of loving someone again after all that has happened. I think I'll let fate takes it's toll this time. I'm done trying because it always backfires. I honestly just want to be happy with a person who will love me and care for me. It's not much to ask is it? :/