too much on my mind..

Lately I've been out and about. I've been to bars, karaoke, and to people's houses to hang out. I'm not sure what I'm doing to be exact. I've met a load of new friends and connected with a bunch of old ones but even with all the people around me I feel like I'm missing something. I feel so alone in the crowd. I feel like I don't have anyone to actually talk talk to. I'm loaded with stress, worries, and thoughts. This place is getting too depressing for me. I'm constantly reminded of my dad here. I can't stop thinking about him. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I picture him back in the hospital before he came home and passed away. This house I'm living in will always remind me of him because he raised me in this very house and he left us all here as well. I miss my dad so much. I don't care how long it's been, I can't let him go. It's so quiet at home without him. I hate being at home. That's one reason why I always go out. The other is because I don't want to be alone. I think too much and I just want to take my mind off of stuff. Everything seems so depressing here. People always tell me to let it go or to move on with my life but it's so much easier said than done. Even if I move on I will never be able to let it go completely. A part of him will always be with me always. School is almost out and I am glad it is. It's been killing me and I can't wait to have a break. I need a vacation as soon as possible. I've been having migraines that makes me want to pull my hair out. I think I have too much going on and I feel closed in. I feel like there's no way out or at least not now…:(