Recently I've been talking to him less and less each day. At first I was really down and kind of still am but I'm thinking it through. He has finals coming up for him to get his computer science degree. Maybe that's the reason why we're distancing a bit. Hopefully when all the testings are done we'll talk like before. Frankly, I miss him so much. Good thing I know I wanted to take things slow and not let my emotions control me this time. I know I'm not in love with him yet but my feelings for him is quite strong. I don't know if he feels the same way for me or not though because he rarely expresses to me about how he feels. One time he expressed to me. He told me that his last breakup made his heart freeze up and that he doesn't believe anyone anymore. He told me that he doesn't want to love anyone anymore either. Then he said but when I appeared even though it was accidentally, he feels that there's something that makes his heart warm back up. He also said that he sees everything in a more optimistic way now and he don't know how to explain it to me but he has many thoughts about all of this. I honestly think he feels something for me but because he's been damaged in the heart before it's hard for him to open back up to anyone. I'm not asking for much from him though. All I wanna do is talk to him and to know that he's doing well in all subjects of life. I'm not asking for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I just want to be friends who are still getting to know each other. I expressed my feelings to him many times already and he knows I like him but I never want him to feel like I'm rushing into anything. I just want to be straightforward with him. I don't have any idea why I am crying while writing all of this. Tears keep falling down for no reason. Am I sad because we're barely talking now? What is wrong with me?.. I guess I just miss him so and missing a person can be so difficult at times...
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