he knows now..

On Thursday, I went to go buy a birthday present for him because his birthday was the following day. I didn't know what to get him and then I remembered that he likes the Falcons so I got him a Falcons t-shirt. That night my him and my godsister asked me to go out to eat and celebrate his and his sister's birthday because their birthdays are only a day apart. So I went out to eat with them but they had Korean bbq and I'm a vegetarian, so I just stayed and chilled with them. We had rice wine..lots of it. Then we headed to karaoke and I had a lot of beer as well. He did too. When he went outside to smoke I followed him out and talked to him. I told him that I have a secret I've been holding in and I wanted to share with him. He asked me to tell him but I told him he had to pinky promise to stay friends with me after hearing it. He agreed and I told him that I am still in love with him and it hurts everytime he tells me about her. It hurts to know that he doesn't feel the same way but I can't help but to stay around to comfort him because I don't want to be just like him. I don't want to abandon him when he's down like he did to me. I was surprised I didn't cry. Then later when we ended up outside again I said to him that sometimes I wish I could hate him but I know I can't. He told me that I should and that he deserves it but I told him I can't even if I wanted to because that's just how I am. I know he feels bad and I don't even know why I told him all of that. I guess I was drunk..It'll all be different now I just know it...