Feeling so blue over you..

Lately I've been trying to pull my life together but that might only last until I really break down. I've been putting on an act so that everyone can see how happy I am and how smooth everything's been going with my life. In reality, it's not going anywhere and neither am I. My dad's back on chemo and his legs are really weak now. He could only walk short distances. Every night I have been crying myself to sleep. Sleep has been so crazy for me. I sleep so late and wake up so early. My hours are everywhere it's bizarre. I have been going back to the gym for a few days now. I really need to get my body back because with all this stress and lack of sleep, I am out of shape. I need to go to the gym to relieve some stress before my brain explodes. On top of all that, I miss him. I can't believe he's still in my mind and heart even until now. Today was a good day though. I woke up to see that he messaged me on facebook. He started a conversation with me. It's been a while since he's started anything with me. We talked and joked around for a whole hour. It felt so unreal for a moment because I felt like how I felt when we first started talking to each other. My feelings for him still remains the same to this very second. Talking to him always make me happy even if the conversation didn't last super long like how I wanted it to. He told me that he's coming back to the US on the 8th. I wonder if he's met anyone over there. I'm happy if he's happy..Is that what love is? Being selfless about yourself but wishing and hoping the best for that special someone on your mind? If so, I have it bad. I don't know how much longer I can hold myself together until things start falling apart. I miss him so much. Not a single day that goes by that I don't miss him or think of him. What is it about him that is holding me down? All I know is I'm feeling blue over him..once again..