Starry night..

Tonight all the stars are out and the moon is super rounded and bright. What a romantic sight it is! The only thing missing is him. I know that at this point, we'll never be able to return back to before. I know  he's long forgotten about me because he doesn't even call or text anymore. I merely a thought to him like I once was. From now on we'll only be strangers..=( This isn't what I wanted but this is where I landed so I don't have a choice but to suck it up. New Year's around the corner and it sucks that I don't have a special person to share this amazing start with. I don't understand why up until now I can't stop thinking about him or missing him. I wish things were different but I know this is how it was meant to be. I need to drink some alcohol to get him out of my mind for just a minute at least if possible. I feel like I can't face all my problems at once anymore. I don't vent my feelings like I did before. It's like whenever I want to, a part of me stops me from doing it. It's like I'm afraid to see or speak my mind and thoughts..='(