Loss..='(

Today a friend of mine since high school passed away. He was fine a few days ago. His death was very unexpected. I miss talking to him and joking around with him like we did back in high school. We must cherish and appreciate those who we love and care for because they may be here today but they might not be tomorrow. I feel really sad but I know he's in a better place now and that he has many many people who loves and cares for him. He will always be loved and remembered because he was just that great of a person to everyone he met and knows.

Talking about all of that reminds me of my guy again. Maybe this is the reason why I've held on so long and still haven't let go. I feel like he's worth waiting on and I don't want another loss in my life. Sometimes I feel like texting him to tell him exactly how I feel but then again I'm afraid to jeopardize our friendship.I'm lost in my thoughts. I miss him so much. I really want to tell him that I fell in love with him and that's why being strangers again with him is almost unbearably painful. I still feel happy when he calls and I fall in love with him all over again. How am i going to tell him I love him when he doesn't even pick up when I call or reply to any of my texts. I'm probably cleared out of his mind now. I keep getting flashbacks of our memories and my tears automatically flow by themselves. Missing him and thinking of him is like a daily routine for me now. I know he said he doesn't want any type of relationship over the friendship stage but he's completely blocking me out as if I'm a stranger. All I want is to hear his voice everyday even if it's for a minute. I never expected it to be like that for us. I would do anything to turn back the hands of time. I wonder if he feels the pain too or is he talking to someone new already. Guys are so unpredictable. They get bored of things fast and move on without considering others' feelings. I feel beyond depress. I wish he could just call me and tell me exactly what is on his mind. I know he still feels it for me. It's a hunch I have and women's hunches are always true. If only I could read his mind. I miss him dearly. When will I ever get to be in his arms again, kiss his lips again or even see his face again even if it's from afar..='(