Tears..

I feel so out of place. Out of order and out of everything. I always put up a good show for people to see how happy I am or at least that I'm okay but I'm not. Inside I'm breaking down slowly and painful. My heart is shattering and everytime he comes around it gets worse. I get worse. I miss him terribly tonight and I feel like I will never be able to get our memories out of my mind. I don't know what to do or how to make myself feel better. Each day it gets worse. I know I should be stronger but I can't. I honestly don't have the strength to fight back my feelings. I wish he knew how much he means to me and how much he's hurting me. I've noticed that I've cried everyday. Tears are so easy to shed but why are they so difficult to stop..='(