Such a lonely night..

I miss him so much. All I have been thinking about is him. All day, everyday. I wonder f he ever thinks of me or if I cross his mind out of the blue like he does to me. I honestly wish things were different. I would do anything just to hear his voice or get a text from him. What happened to us is still a mystery to me. I never wanted us to be like this. I never knew I'd fall this hard for him. When he first approached me, it didn't even cross my mind that I'd fall for him. Where ever he is and what ever he's doing, I hope he's happy. Happy with his life and his choices. I want to be there for him every step of the way. I am such a hopeless romantic. I know we'll never turn out to be what I imagined but I still want to keep my imaginations and hopes up. Unrequited love is tough. I feel so lonely tonight. Lonely in a "missing someone" way not lonely as in "I need someone here" kind of way. I wish I could read his thoughts. I want to know if he still feels for me like before or has he moved on. It gets tough when I'm constantly thinking about him and constantly thinking about how he doesn't want me. At the same time, I understand where he's coming from but it's just that we've created too much feelings and too many memories to erase, change or regret. Out of everything we've done, I don't regret anything. I know my mind was clear when I made my choices. Maybe one day he'll notice me and admit his true feelings. For right now, it's neglection, ignoring, and carelessness. If only he was here for me to express my true thoughts to. I miss him a lot more than I should but not enough according to my heart and mind...