Sighs..

I know I shouldn't think about him or miss him but I do. Everytime I want to call him or text him I hold myself back. I almost do many times but I know I shouldn't. I don't know how to move on. I guess I just can't yet. My mind and heart is still stuck on him when he doesn't even care about me. I'm just another person to him. Everytime I remind myself that I'm just another to him, tears won't stop running. I don't know how to stop it and at the same time I want to cry it all out. I don't understand why I am so drawn to him like no other before. I think it might be because I trusted in him and we are so alike in many ways. Will he ever meet another like me though? Someone who shares that much in common with him. Sometimes I'd think back from the beginning. We talked in the beginning and we saw each other. Every moment was so beautiful and happy. Even when we were in New York, it was an amazing period of time in my life. I was with him for a whole week. I slept by him for a week. He held my hands and kissed me everyday. It hurts to know what you once had and felt has become memories of times you'll never get back or recreate. I miss him so much. I can't stop thinking of him. When I think of him, it hurts. It hurts to know he cared once before and not anymore. It hurts to have to feel this pain everyday. He said before that he didn't mean to lead me on but he wasn't leading me on because I know he felt it to. He and I had a thing for each other and I know it, I felt it. Things have changed so much within 3 months period. I feel so depress and I can't stop crying. What's become of me? I don't know who I am anymore..I don't know who I was..I just want to hear from him. I just want him. I want him to be here for me like I am for him. I want him...='(