Misery..

It's been a few days since I've posted. I've been running fevers of 100.7 for the past two days. Sick to my guts. My god grandma is here visiting from Florida. I haven't seen her since my sister's wedding two years ago. She's been accupuncturing and trying to stabilize everyone's health in my family. I've still been thinking about how a bit lately. Not as much as before because I've been occupied with things but every now and then when I'm not doing anything, he comes to mind. He haven't called or text back in a bit. I guess I'm just not that important to be heard. I don't know why I can't let go. Is it because we're linked in some ways or is it because I haven't gotten real answers from him? Why can't we be together when we are so alike in many different areas and when we both have feelings for each other? Sometimes I get tired of asking myself questions that I will never find answers to because it's not my questions to answer. I miss him. I wonder does he still think about me. I wonder if he still feels the same about me like he once did before. I wonder if he feels my pain, my love, and my effort. My left eye is twitching really bad. Is something about to happen? I wish I could go back in time to fix whatever went wrong and make it right. The only thing is nothing went wrong. He just doesn't want to be with me. He only wanted to talk to me until I fell for him and when I did he left me. I don't know why I'm still talking about him, thinking about him or even still feel for him. I'm such a fool for him when he doesn't even want me. I wish everything was a dream and I'd wake up in the middle of the night to realize it's all unreal. I wish that we were like before and not how we are now. I wish he'd call me to tell me he still likes me, he still wants to talk to me, and that he still wants to be with me...='(