I'm broken into so many pieces...

So yesterday he finally spitted out what he had in mind. He told me that he didn't mean to neglect me but he didn't know what to say to me at the same time. He just don't want to be in a relationship or even DATE anyone right now. He told me not to take it personal..I feel all different shades of fucked up right now. Why begin something you can't finish and why finish up what you barely started? I don't know how to feel or what to do. I texted him back and said its ok and that it was my fault for getting myself in it and hurting myself. So nobody's to blame but me..Why won't people give my heart a break? I never asked to be in a relationship. This dating thing was working out fine so why does he have to kick me out in the end? I feel sick mentally, physically, and emotionally. I've been crying my eyes out. I fell for him a bit more than I should have. Why do stuff with me and then just mess around with my feelings? It hurts more and more everytime I think. I want to text him back and ask him "why" but I don't want to seem desperate and he was clearly smacking me in the face with the last text. What do I do? How should I feel? When will all of this clear up? Why do I feel so hurt even after all he's done to fuck me over? Is it because we had a physical contact or is it because I fell in love with him? I want to cry. I can't focus and everything feels worse every second. I want to break down but who will care? Nobody because in the end I'm back to being by myself...='(