Finally, a turning point..

He finally called me at 4 in the morning yesterday. I was sleeping but somehow I woke up because I knew it was the song set as his ringtone. He couldn't sleep so he called me. We talked things out like how it should have been done in the first place. I asked him why did he get close to me and made me have strong feelings for him and then disappeared. He said he just didn't want to be in a relationship but he still wants to talk to me. He said he likes talking to me. He asked me why did I get close when he warned me from the start not to fall for him because he doesn't want a relationship. I told him because there is something about him I just can't describe. I have this strong feeling or attraction towards him that I've never had on anyone else. It keeps drawing me towards him even though I know playing with fire will only results in burns. It doesn't have to be that way though. He doesn't have to hurt me. I don't want a title or to force him into anything he doesn't want. I just want to be able to talk to him, to see him, and to be with him. I don't need him to make me his anything. 

            I asked him did he get the texts I sent him and he asked which ones. Then he said he got them all and they made him feel bad/guilty. I told him his last text to me was like a slap in my face and I was hurt by his neglection. I told him I cried my eyes out over him and he asked me why I would cry over a guy like him when its not worth it. I told him I don't know why myself. Usually when guys hurt me I try to move on and forget them and not let them hurt me. This time I can't seem to escape. To be honest, I'm in love with him. That's probably why it hurts a lot more than I thought it would. I wasn't even like this when I was dealing with my last break up. I told him and it took him by surprise a bit. What's going on? Why and how did I fall for him so hard without realizing it? Why is he all I can think of? I feel like fate's brought us together and I keep falling for him more and more even when he's neglecting me. He told me to text him in the morning before he went to sleep. :) I missed that. I know he misses me. He said he doesn't want anything intimate but the whole time that's all we had. He said I shouldn't have fallen for him and I said back to him that he saw and knew I was falling but he didn't push me away or stop me from falling. In fact, I think he couldn't resist himself from pushing me away because he feels it too. I know he has strong feelings for me too but he just won't admit it. If he doesn't then why call me back after texting all of that to me? 

             I texted him when I woke up and replied. We texted back and forth today. I wanted to talk to him on the phone but he had to study for the WFG exam so I let him be. He said plus he has to go to sleep early to go to the doctor later today. I wonder if he's sick. I wish he'd talk to me more so I can know if anything's wrong with him or what's on his mind. I miss him so much right now. I'm glad he called me back and we found a turning point. I didn't know how much more of devastation I could've taken before I broke down. I know we are talking again and that's a good thing but I'm scared to death of what may come. This is only going to make me fall even harder for him now that we're back on track. If he decides to exit my life next time, I'm not sure I can handle the pain that's to come. I really hope that we can make it through thick and thin. In my heart, I feel like he's the one. It's a hunch, kind of. I'm glad I didn't move on or let him go like everyone suggested. I knew deep down that he cares for me so I stood my ground. Sometimes wishes do come true. I'm glad mine did. :)