I never thought I'd fall in love with someone this fast. He's different from anyone I've ever met though. He has so much in common with me. We practically like the same thing, think alike, sometimes act alike, speak each other's mind, and finish each other's sentences without even knowing it. I feel like I've known him for more than just a few months. Where has he been all my life? I've been spending all my life dating guys and breaking up with them because I know they're not the one for me. My last boyfriend was totally opposite from me. Whether it was in thoughts or actions, we were different. Maybe that's the reason why we argue so much and each time it gets more and more intense. It's a lot different with this guy though. It's like he understands me before I could even speak my mind. Somehow I feel like I can do the same for him.
I know he doesn't want to be in a relationship yet because he's not ready and I can truly admit neither am I. For some reason though I feel like something keeps pushing me towards him more and more everyday. I trust him so much for some weird reason. I mean we already did it and usually I only do that with my boyfriend. He's the second person I've ever made love with but I don't sleep with anyone I'm not in a relationship with. I can honestly say I trust him that much to risk my happiness. All I can think of nowadays is him. Every thought of him or us brings a smile to my heart. I feel like I've finally found what I've been looking for. At first he tried to push me away because he doesn't want to be in any relationship. I told him we don't have to be in a relationship. I just want to date for now. I want to do all the things that I keep missing out on when I used to date my exes. I want to go on dates and live the romance. I want to know what it feels like and I want to take my time to get to know him better. I know even though I'm in love with him but it doesn't change my mind on getting to know him more. He's open up to me a lot more than I thought he would. He's actually giving us a try and that makes me more than happy. The only thing is he's joining National Guard soon so he'll be away for a few months. That's part of why he doesn't want me involved with him. I think it's a little too late to push me away now that I'm head over heels over him.
He's told me a lot about himself and I guess he thought that it'll just scare me away but it doesn't. When you find someone who you can trust and give your heart to, it doesn't matter what they've done, is doing or will do later. All you know is you'll be there for them no matter if times are good or bad. All I want to do is be there for him. I love how he's so interested in my everyday life. He'll ask me how my day's going, how's work, what am I doing, and stuff like that. He's not like everyone including my family who just calls me when they need something. In fact, I'm interested in hearing him out everyday as well. I want him to be happy. Happy as he could ever be. I want him to be stress-free and relaxed.
Deep in my heart I know that this will either lead to a happy path where we'll be together or a painful path where we'd have to let go of our feelings. I know that there was a half and half chance but I still let him have me. Why do I trust this guy so much? It's like I know I could get hurt playing with fire but I can't stop myself. I really do hope he's not like every other guy I met or have been with. The last thing I need now is pain.
I love how he'd either text or call me everyday just to say good morning and ask about my day. I really think I'm falling in love with him. Hopefully, he'd catch me and not let me hit the ground. I don't mind what he does. I just want him to know that I have his back and that I'll always be here even as a friend to support him. Sometimes I wish he didn't live in Savannah but in Atlanta. I know it's still in the state of Georgia but it's still 4 hours away from me. I just wish he could live around here so I could see his cute dimpled face, hear his sweet talks, and make him laugh and smile. What I would do just to hold him close to my heart right now..It's getting late again so time to bounce and get to bed. School starts tomorrow and I'm a bit nervous but now that I've vented most of my feelings, I feel at ease. Hopefully I get to see him in my dreams..that much I can do just to have him close at heart. :)
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