Thursday, August 23, 2012

Another day of the blues...

So my day started out great at first. I received a text from him saying good morning to me. Then my sister asked me to go out and eat with her. Then I was off to school. The whole day we were texting each other back and forth. Then when it got near night time he kind of drifted off. I think he's probably seeing strange clouds or getting faded right now. I tried calling and texting but no response. Sometimes I feel like a fool. A fool for falling for someone who doesn't want to be in a relationship with me but likes me more than a lot. A fool for trusting someone to the point where I'd actually make love to them when no love exists between us..or at least not for him. A fool for believing things will work and he's not going to drift off like everyone else. Truth is I'm a fool for him. I don't know what to do or what to say. I just know that right now it hurts to think. He knows I will not be able to handle it if he plays with my feelings. He's a considerate guy. This I can reassure myself for a fact. Maybe I shouldn't have taken his warnings so lightly. It doesn't matter anymore because what's done is done and my feelings for him will not change. Again, I may be thinking too much. At least he texted me today. Sometimes I just wish he'd call instead. I don't know if he's still sick or not but he's already back to his daily routine. There are times where I feel like I'm just a side chick. I feel like I'm here for him to talk to when he's bored or has nothing to do at work. Most of the time he's busy with something. Maybe I should've kept my stand and not text him. I refuse to be hurt by him. I don't want to be. I want him to take me seriously or just leave me alone. I'm tired of games. He's just too busy for me so why talk to me at all and why bother replying to my texts. I feel like shit right now. I hate this feeling more than anything. Another day of the blues and awful insomnia...:(

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